Well well well..look who has returned. It is I! And girl o girl so much has transpired since my last blog post! Stick around, this might be a little long, but totally worth it. My last post was entitled "For Better and..For Worse??" Well, let me tell you..it got worse. And instead of standing in front of an officiant, it is a clerk that I was now standing in front of. I honestly used to be scared of the idea of divorce. I was one of those "I'm not going to get divorced, we're going to work it out and be together forever!" And it's okay to think that way. Sadly for me, forever came sooner than expected and I had a decision to make.

December 27, 2019 after being "separated" for over a year and still stagnant in our relationship, I decided that I had had enough. No, I will not go into details. There was blame to be had on both sides and if you know me, I was never one to dodge the parts I played. During this time of "separation" I was really in a dark place. Depression reared its head and had an amazing time at my expense. I would drive to work in tears praying and sometimes even screaming (there were times it was the only outlet that would suffice) to get myself through the day. I had to learn to take things second by second. I worked myself up to minute by minute and so on. I eventually got to the point where I could easily take it a day at a time. It took a lot of self-affirmations and prayer. I ultimately hired a divorce lawyer, even though It was so hard to commit to. Because I truly loved him...but I had to love me more.

There was a time I was truly enamored by my then husband and wanted to spend every moment with him instead of with friends or family. 95% of my free time, I opted to spend with him. It was understandable! We worked different shifts and barely saw each other during the week. Again, not going into details, but it took a while for me to get out of this phase. You know those types of people that fall hard, and it's difficult for them to walk away when things are not aligned? And eventually they have an epiphany and finally get it together and walk away without a glace back? Hi, that's me. January 31, 2020 our divorce was finally official. We were two great people, just not great together. And that's okay. He's still a part of my daughter's life and her love for him is unwavering.

I've said all of that to say, divorce doesn't have to signify the end for you. It means a brand new start. I would suggest speaking with a counselor or therapist so that you make sure that you don't take any baggage into the next relationship (if and when you're ready, of course). Think about what you've learned during these times. There's a lesson in every bit of pain. We just have to realize it and that usually comes after the pain has subsided. When you finally do get into another relationship, be sure that you love yourself more than you love them. You can't show them something that you lack. Until then, take time to discover the new you. Create a list of things that you've tolerated in the past, but will NOT tolerate going forward. AND. STICK. WITH. IT! It's okay to share your story (if and when you're ready). You might help someone. Oh and by the way, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with getting advice from someone that is divorced, as long as they are not bitter because that can distort any helpful information.

I created my journal during a difficult time in my marriage and now more than ever, I am an advocate for this journal. It's been really helpful in opening dialogue in my customer's relationships and hopefully it can help in saving yours.

Order your journal now!