Are you rooted in your marriage?
You're married! You had a beautiful wedding and received gifts from amazing family and friends to wish you well on your journey towards marital bliss. But what now??
Sure, there's pre-marital counseling which helps prepare us for marriage, but those sessions don't last long and only scratches the surface of what to expect for your marriage (and that's if you actually participate in pre-marital counseling). Why do we not educate each other on marriages before we even get engaged? Why doesn't it continue during the marriage, not just when issues arise or you're at the brink of separation/divorce? Is it logical to think that if we were educated beforehand, marriages would have a better success rate?
Fast-forward a few years. You're experiencing some challenges in your marriage. You now have an emotional wall up and your partner is doing everything in their power to tear that wall down, but they feel like they are failing. They pray and give it to God, but they're still seeing little to no progress. They are on the verge of giving up..
Marriage counseling was a BUST and your partner doesn't want to try it again. The "Christian" counselor tells you to seek a divorce (what?!). What do you do now? Who do you turn to?
Ask yourself are you truly rooted in your marriage? Giving up seems to be best, but it's also the easiest thing to do. You promised for better or for worse in your vows, so why are you giving up when you're at your worse? I urge you not to give up! I know that if you are a Christian or long time member of a church family, you've probably heard about having faith the size of mustard seed.
A mustard seed is very small, but once planted and nurtured, it starts growing some very strong roots. It doesn't take two mustard seeds to obtain strong roots; just one! As long as one of you have that you can be the start of change in your marriage.
Tami Myer said in her article 6 Reasons for Not Giving Up on Your Marriage,
- "...think of two people standing back-to-back in conflict. If both people are willing to turn around, then the couple will be face-to-face in good relationship again. However, what happens when one person in that back-to-back situation remains motionless while the other person walks around to face the one who did not move? The two people become face-to-face again, even though only one person moved. If both people in a marriage will make changes, that is great. However, it takes only one spouse to make a dramatic difference. You can be the one!"
So, I encourage you today to do these 7 things:
- DO NOT GIVE UP! But DO give it to God
- Pray without ceasing, individually and together
- Take accountability for your part in your marital issues and start working on fixing it
- Educate yourself on marriage
- If your partner is willing, seek counseling (it's okay to get 2nd and 3rd opinions)
- Seek support from other married couples. It's powerful having someone else fighting with you
- If you are looking for another approach towards a closer relationship, try my journal:
There is hope in repairing your marriage; you just have to stand firm and rooted. The harder the enemy attacks, the harder you need to pray. Remember: YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST!